


Their Kids

by TheBrcklayer



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gabriel Agreste Has a Bad Day, Gen, Humor, Inspired by a prompt, Parent Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Plagg Cares (Miraculous Ladybug), Plagg is a Little Shit (Miraculous Ladybug), Protective Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Protective Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), Sassy Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), Supportive Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), Tikki would make the ULTIMATE therapist, many in fact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:14:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28715571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBrcklayer/pseuds/TheBrcklayer
Summary: AU where Tikki and Plagg look at their new holders, and decide these kids are too young to fight. So instead of telling Marinette and Adrien how to transform they tell them that they must wear and protect the Miraculouses so Hawk Moth can't find them, then go out to fight akumas themselves. Granted Paris gets a bit more destroyed with Plagg's Cataclysm, but Tikki's Miraculous Ladybug is more than enough to restore everything.Hawk Moth is frustrated because he has no idea where the Miraculouses are and the kwamis are OP, while Marinette and Adrien still get their kwamis as their companions but aren't in direct danger nor have the weight of being a hero on their shoulders.-----Or where Gabriel Agreste has many bad days, Tikki becomes the city's resident anger management counselor, and life is still wild for the citizens of Paris but probably not as bad as it could have been.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Tikki, Plagg/Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 153





	Their Kids

**Author's Note:**

  * For [11JJ11](https://archiveofourown.org/users/11JJ11/gifts).



> Thank you Uh and lady_rini_b3 for the proofreading! (Also, don't own or make money off Ladybug)

Frightened, terrified screaming.

“Ahh! Help! It's a giant bug! A... a mouse! A... a bug-mouse!”

It had been a while since her last holder, Tikki knew. Well over a few centuries actually, but she hadn’t seen one this young in a while, not since… Oh. Oh dear. ...while she doubted that anyone got burned at the stake anymore, this was… disconcerting. She saw so much of Joan in her.

“Everything's okay- don't be scared!” 

In hindsight, Tikki mused, the world hadn’t seen a Miraculous for centuries and even before then they were shrouded in myth and legend. And in any event, even as non-threatening as she looked, Tikki mused, she supposed ‘freaking out’ was only a natural reaction to the goddess of creation appearing in your room.

More screaming … screeching? “Ahh! The bug-mouse talks!”

...and now her new holder was throwing things at her... Oh well.

“Listen, Marinette, I know everything may seem a bit strange to you…” Tikki started, perhaps wondering if it would be better to just ease her into this slowly. No, there was no time! Nooroo was in danger! Oh, and now she had a glass over her head. ...in hindsight, maybe she shouldn't have mentioned that she knew her chosen ones name. That might have kept her from freaking out. Now, obviously, she could have just phased through the glass but Tikki realized her _way too young_ holder needed a moment. “Okay, if that makes you feel safer…”

Watching Marinette take several deep breaths, Tikki decided to be patient. Patient even with the sounds of explosions in the background. From the akuma no doubt… Clearly Nooroo’s captor worked fast. Yes, okay, this was fine… 

“What are you, and how do you know my name?”

“I am a kwami, and my name is Tikki. Now just let me explain,” Tikki started before halting. ...no, she couldn’t explain. Not to someone _this young_. Now everyone was like a child to someone of her age, but… all the same. She loved Master Fu, she did, but all the same she wondered if having someone only 13 carry all the responsibilities of being the new Ladybug was really a wise choice. 

It took less than an instant for Tikki to make up her mind. Looking around the room, she saw that the girl was certainly inspired, creative even. A sewing machine rested on her table, and rolls of fabric lay off to the side. Okay, well clearly she had a talent for creation. But it was still so obviously a teenage girl’s room, there were posters of someone named… Cragged Stone was it? Some sort of musician, clearly. Okay, yes! That’s what girls who were her chosen’s age should be worried about, concerts and boys. Not saving the world! 

“...you were going to explain?”  
  
Tikki had never been a _great_ liar, but well… it seemed like there was no better time to learn! ...well then, so be it. “Yes, all you have to do is wear me, that will keep you safe from Nooroo’s new bearer. I shall handle the rest.”  
  
Marinette blinked curiously. “...Nooroo? ...wear you?”  
  
Tikki could only hope that Plagg got an older chosen, because if not well this was going to be an interesting day out!

Honestly she should have hoped harder.

“...I met him once. So he grants wishes. Big deal!” 

For the record, Plagg was hoping his counterpart lucked out more than he had. Knowing her, his sugarcube probably got the best person for the job. He, on the other hand, got an excitable fanboy. Whoopee.

And yet… _Fanboy. Fanboy! Fan… Boy!_ Not fanman, and yes that is totally a word. A fan _boy_. They seemed to just keep on getting younger, didn’t they? Oh Fu, you idiot. Yeah, sure, give out the Black Cat to the first person you saw. Didn’t matter how young they were! Teenagers! They were always ruled by hormones and other icky things- they were in no way ready to bear the responsibilities of a Miraculous! 

_“...unless of course if you ask The Order, and honestly look at what happened there! Oh yeah, sure, bring in a ten year old and just expect him to be ready. Yeah, sure that won’t backfire at all!”_ Plagg thought to himself before noticing the blond kid looking at him curiously, probably expecting him to say something else. So he did. “Plagg. Nice to meet you. Ooh, swanky…”

He flutt— no, flew around the room, inspecting it. Fluttering was Nooroo’s thing, right? Okay, okay, a person’s room said a lot about them. And honestly, Plagg didn’t like any of what this room was saying. Spoiled rich kid, probably had everything in the world except for one thing, namely what mattered most. The picture displayed prominently on that strange electric box didn’t soothe his fears. Oh boy. 

_“Okay, uh… think here. ...yeah, yikes. You got one of these didn’t you? Lonely boy, who’s probably jumping at the chance to get out of the house and express himself a little. Probably a bit of an idiot, way too sheltered and doesn’t know how to act around the public. He’s just done what he’s been told in the hopes of earning his parents’ love. If his father or his mother told him to jump off a bridge for their love, he just might!”_

Okay, yeah, great. So… uh, this could be a problem. A big problem. Oh, that was an explosion, wasn’t it? Seems whoever was keeping poor Nooroo captive was already hard at work, thinking they’d draw out the new heroes. ...oh, they’d certainly get their wish alright! Just not in the way they were probably expecting.

Wad this a crazy plan? Yeah sure it was, and his sugarcube would probably kill him later, but this kid could _not_ be let out in the field of battle. Not under his watch. _“That settles that, then! Watch out Paris, cause here I come!”_ _  
_ _  
_ Floating down to his chosen, Plagg looked him in the eye with a grin slowly spreading across his face. “...Okay kid, here’s what you gotta do…”

Somehow, and he wasn’t sure why but Master Fu felt a shudder run through him. Perhaps he had made a mistake after all…

\-----

“...well, you know, I have done worse,” Plagg rubbed the back of his head with a paw, looking at the smoking ruins of several arrondissements. Jagged craters dotted the streets, smoke rising from buildings as the world famous Eiffel Tower lay on its side, having come crashing down at some point during the ‘fight'. ...actually, calling it a fight was probably being generous as well, all Plagg had to do was touch the ground and destruction and rot raced through the earth. “...you know, for my first day out in ages, I think I did pretty well.”

“That has yet to be determined,” Tikki sighed, with a disapproving shake of her head. “...I can’t believe you were so reck— no, actually I can. This isn’t the first time you’ve done something like this! This is dangerous and you know it!”  
  
“...you sound like the Great Guardian right now. Dangerous? Me? How so?” Plagg feigned innocence, and could feel a headache coming on. Could Kwamis even get headaches? He wasn’t sure, though the throbbing pain he felt seemed to say yes. He knew his sugarcube was going to chide him for this but in his defense he couldn’t let the kid become a child soldier!  
  
“Does the disappearance of Atlantis ring a bell with you?” Tikki started. “...that city was perfectly fine right where it was, you didn’t have to make it sink!”  
  
“Okay, in my defense, I was left unsupervised.” 

“...that’s what you always say,” Tikki sighed, shaking her head.

“I say it because it’s true,” Plagg pointed out. “Now now, to be fair it’s not always my fault! You fix things right away anyways!”  
  
“Uh-huh,” Tikki frowned, looking stern. “...and what about the Leaning Tower of Pisa?”

“I think it looks better that way anyways; more of a talking point,” her counterpart commented. “Now, it’s not _just_ the Tower Of Pisa, it’s the _Leaning_ Tower of Pisa! It’s unique, one of a kind!”

“The dinosaurs?” Tikki asked. “They were perfectly fine animals, they could have gone far!”  
  
“...they were getting bigger and dumber with each passing century, that’s the exact opposite of evolution, sugarcube.”

Tikki facepalmed. “...oh well, at least you didn’t cause Pompeii 2.0. Sneezing into a volcano, honestly!”

“...thank you, I’d had enough of you blaming me for Krakatoa for 100 years. That really _was_ nature that time! I had nothing to do with it,” Plagg said before frowning. “...but honestly sugarcube, I _had_ to do this. Have you seen my kid? I swear they keep getting younger!”

Tikki sighed, and _oh boy_ did Plagg know _that_ sigh. It was whenever she thought of chosens long since lost and the passing of the ages and it was a feeling he knew all too well. His kittens, they tended to die scorned and alone and hated by the very people they were supposed to protect. He hated it, every time he tried to prevent it but every time he failed. Except… this time he had a chance. This time, his kitten wouldn’t have to use his powers. He’d do the job himself!

“...my chosen, she’s only 13, 14 at most!” Tikki whispered. “I… I couldn’t let her do it, shoulder the burden. Not after poor Joan…”

She choked back a sob, and Plagg hugged her.

“I know sugarcube, but this time…” Plagg started, sounding far older and wiser than he let anyone think he was. For once, he sounded like the wisdom of the ages had finally caught up to him. He sounded _weary_ , **ancient** . **_Responsible_ ** _._ “...this time they won’t even have to get near the battle. Because we’ll be doing it for them.”  
  
“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Tikki said, taking another good long look at the half destroyed arrondissements. “...but you did a good thing Plagg.”  
  
Plagg grinned toothily even as her warm cleansing light washed over Paris. “...don’t I always?”

\-----

Hawk Moth raged. “ _THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO SHOW UP!_ I did everything right, didn’t I? Threatened Paris? Created a supervillain to menace it! That’s the problem with superheroes, them being so heroic- So where were they? The Cat and the Ladybug! Instead, half of Paris lays in ruins, and I didn’t even get a chance to deliver my well-crafted threat, I had a whole speech and everything! I had cards to read from! _I didn’t even get a chance to deliver my maniacal laugh!”_

In his brooch, Nooroo felt strangely relieved. Normally he wouldn’t feel this way at Plagg showing his true power, but honestly seeing his holder rage like a toddler was… well, worth it. And at this rate, he may be out of here within the month! 

And as Hawk Moth had a minor conniption and Nooroo breathed a sigh of relief, Marinette began to comprehend.

“...so all you’re saying I have to do is just wear these,” she pointed to her earrings. “...and Hawk Moth won’t be able to come and find me? That’s it? ...wow, it doesn’t seem very superheroic but uh… if it helps me protect Paris…”

“It’s okay,” Tikki said, kissing Marinette’s forehead and nestling herself in her chosen’s hair. “...it shouldn’t be your job to protect Paris anyways, just let me do all the hard work, okay?”  
  
“If… if you say so,” Marinette stammered out. “...b-but why did you come to me? Who sent you? You’re like a Guardian Angel to Paris now, so why are you choosing to stay with me?”

“Because you’re a very kind girl, and I believe that you need my help as well. Not just Paris. You’re creative, inspired, and above all very unique. I like to guide special individuals from time to time, and although usually they wear spotted suits with me, not this time. You don’t need to be a superhero, Marinette. You just need to be a _super person._ I’m just here to help you along, nudge you really,” Tikki said, and Marinette was blushing at the praise looking about ready to faint. “...as for who sent me, a very wise man and even if he sometimes makes a mistake he ultimately means well. You don’t worry about him okay? Or Paris, they’re in safe hands.”  
  
“I… I see…” Marinette said, sounding not really sure in herself. Tikki frowned, that would change. Her little bug would grow, and would soon take to the skies on her own set of wings. But for now… let her be a teenage girl just a little while longer. A smile came to her. 

“...so,” Tikki asked, still grinning. “...are there any _boys_ you like?”

_“Tiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”_

Marinette let out a low whine. She never knew gods could be so nosey! Meanwhile…

“...but you don’t understand,” Alexandre (Was that it, he knew it started with an A. Could have been Alain?) pleaded to a cat who found himself far more interested in a toilet paper roll, taking it for a trip around the room. “My father, he’s super strict! Like, I want to be a normal boy and go to a normal school and just get out of this house!”  
  
Ah, as he suspected. Plagg grinned, this was going to be fun.

“Trust me, blondie,” the tiny god commented, still trying to work out the kid’s name. Was it Alphonse? “There are _plenty_ of ways to be free without donning a catsuit. Stick with me kid, I’ll teach you to cause a bit of chaos even without my powers!”  
  
And from Ambroise’s(?) intrigued grin, Plagg knew he had him.

“Interested?” Plagg asked. “Good! …just one thing, though. Do you have any camembert? 

\-----

“....oooooh, I don’t believe it girl,” chattered Marinette’s new friend, the bluenette still on a high from the events of the past week. She had a new friend! Someone who just wouldn’t lay down and let Chloe walk all over them! “I’m not the only one with a blog now! Someone else is posting on the supervillain attacks, and speculating on who’s fighting them! See this?”  
  
Alya practically shoved her phone in Marinette’s face. The BugOut Blog, huh! Then she realized she recognized that voice. “...hey, wait, isn’t that…?”  
  
“Adrien Agreste?” Alya nodded. “Yeah, it is! Looks like he doesn’t want to be known as ‘just Chloe’s friend’. Seems he wants to make a name for himself! I hope Sunshine here is ready to get into the ring, reporting is a nasty business after all. Very competitive.”

“...well, from the sounds of it,” Marinette commented, staying intently focused on the podcast. Ancient magics were the topic of the day, theories on how Paris was lying in ruins one minute and returned to life the next. “...he does seem pretty driven.”  
  
By the way, she needed to ask Tikki if her partner really was always this out of control.  
  
“...hmmm, seems so yeah. But magic? Bit of a stretch isn’t it?” Alya murmured. “...I hope he’s got sources to back it up!”  
  
“Well, there’s a museum trip coming up. Maybe I could ask him then?” Marinette pondered, and Alya shot her a surprised look.  
  
“...oh, this is a surprise now isn’t it? A few days ago, you hated him!”  
  
“Well, a few days ago he wasn’t reporting on current events!” Marinette replied, before shooting a secretive wink towards her bag. Tikki lay nestled inside, nibbling on cookies. “...besides, someone told me that holding grudges isn’t healthy in the long run!”  
  
Tikki smiled approvingly, yeah her holder had this. She learned fast!  
  
“Well that someone sounds very wise!” Alya laughed and Marinette joined in, though not for the same reasons. If only her friend really knew!

Of course, they did make that trip to the museum, but as ever a certain villain refused to allow her chosen a normal day out in Paris. 

_“...If there are any superheroes in Paris, please hurry! I just found out I'm the sacrificial offering to the sun god!”_ _  
_ _  
_ Tikki looked up at the dark storm clouds that had begun to gather as mummies frogmarched Alya outside. “Oh, sacred Ra, god of the sun, I Pharaoh, offer to thee a pure soul! The sacrifice for the return of Nefertiti!”  
  
...and oh great, now he was bowing! Didn’t anyone ever tell crazy pharaohs that sacrifices almost never worked? Honestly, Ra was probably pretty offended. Oh, if only Orikko could see what was happening now! “I bow to you, and present this gift with my mummies! In company, we pray to you for the safe return of princess Nefertiti! Awaken, Nefertiti! Awaken! Awaken, Nefertiti! _Awaken_!”

The Louvre pyramid lit up, shooting a beam of blinding light straight upwards into the clouds. 

...well, nothing for it then! 

“Rituals these days, am I right?” Plagg said as he floated past. “...man, why do I have to do all the hard work?”  
  
Tikki snorted. “You just worry about not destroying half of Paris this time, I gotta talk this villain down.”  
  
“Me, not destroy half of Paris?” Plagg shot back. “...you see what I mean about getting all of the hard work?”  
  
Tikki rolled her eyes, confronting the Pharaoh. Honestly, she doubted Hawk Moth -terrible name by the way- even bothered to read up on his Egyptian mythology! Thoth was the god of knowledge, not time! “...um, excuse me. Pharaoh is it?”  
  
“...ah, a messenger of Ra himself!” cried the villain.

“...sorry, you’ve got the wrong species of bug I’m afraid,” Tikki sighed, trying so hard to hide her annoyance. “I don’t speak for Ra, though I do know some sun gods and I hate to say it but they don’t accept sacrifices.”  
  
“But I must have my darling Nefertiti back!”  
  
Tikki groaned. “...and what would she think of you sacrificing a teenage girl for her? Is that something a loving husband would do?”  
  
“Excuse you, but I make excellent sacrificing material!” Alya called out, indignant. Tikki ignored her.

“You’re a pharaoh, right? You’re supposed to look out for all of your kingdom, your every subject. That includes the one you’re about to sacrifice.”

The Pharaoh seemed to be thinking it over, and in his lair Hawk Moth raged. _“No, no, no! Don’t listen to her, I am your master!”_ _  
_ _  
_ Perhaps, in hindsight, that was the wrong thing to say.

“...no, you are not, Hawk Moth. I am my own master,” said the Pharaoh, his ‘master’s purple mask beginning to fade away. “I see all, I rule all! I do as the gods will me!”

_“NO! YOU SHALL DO MY BIDDING!”_

“And…” continued the villain, breaking his pendant. “...I see that I am wrong, and I see that the gods would be ashamed of me if I continue down this path. So thank you little bug, for showing me that I have strayed.”

And as Tikki cleansed the pendant from evil, Plagg groaned. He didn’t even get to unwrap one single mummy! But they looked so tempting! Like big rolls of toilet paper!

Tikki smiled as a red cleansing light washed over Paris, repairing all that had been broken and freeing Jalil from Hawk Moth’s servitude. As ever, love and kindness won the way, not fists of fury. 

“...you’re really smug about this aren’t you?” Plagg said to her as he watched.

“It’s just proof of what I’ve been saying all along, with a bit of love and understanding you can reach anyone.” Tikki nodded, saccharine sweet. 

Plagg gagged, even as his counterpart shot him a stern look of disapproval. “...meh, I prefer destruction, ruin, and despair. Totally metal, as the kids today say.”  
  
“You would have just cracked the Louvre in half and put it into a sinkhole!” Tikki said dryly.

“...eh, true!” Plagg shrugged. “You probably ain’t wrong there!”

“...whoopee. That’s so reassuring.”

This villain attack was just the opening act, a prelude to things to come. Tikki actually liked talking down the villains, working through their issues. Plus, it saved her from having to patch up Paris time and time again.

She wouldn’t consider herself a glutton, but her Cure took a lot out of her! And really, it was quite rude to hoard cookies! ...even if they were incredibly tasty!

“...yes, I understand that your watch was run over, but is it really worth taking it out on Paris?” Tikki said, dodging swipes from the new villain. Honestly, if she were anyone else she might have found it funny how frustrating it was for Timebreaker to hit her. But no, taking enjoyment in others’ pain was simply just wrong! “...It was nobody’s fault, really. It was an accident, plain and simple. These things happen.”  
  
“You don’t understand!” roared the villain, leaping forwards and trying to pin the little kwami under her rollerblades. To her credit, she succeeded… for about a second or so before Tikki phased through them. “That watch, it was a gift from my dad!”  
  
Tikki wondered if Alix really knew the significance that the watch held. She knew she did, she’d recognized a disguised Miraculous anywhere! She’d missed Fluff, really, even confusing as she was to talk to at times. 

“It can be easily fixed, don’t worry! All you have to do is take it to a master clockmaker!” Tikki tried to reassure. 

“You don’t understand, that watch! It’s like no other in the world!” Timebreaker roared, punching forwards.

 _“For more reasons than you’ll ever know!”_ _  
_ _  
_ “And _I_ am a clocksmith like no other!” Tikki said. Now she didn’t like bragging but it was true. She knew how to repair anything. Smiling, the little goddess watched Timebreaker waver. 

“...are you really?”  
  
_“NO TIMEBREAKER, YOU SHOULDN’T LISTEN TO HER! SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT!”_ Hawk Moth thundered in her head, sounding like a full orchestra. _“Only_ **_I_ ** _can help you take your revenge!”_

“...eh, revenge is overrated anyways,” Alix decided, taking off her skates. “...sounds like a Chloe thing really, and I don’t want to be like her!”

Hawk Moth screamed, throwing his cane against the wall. _“Very well then, but there will come a_ **_time_ ** _when I take my revenge upon you, Kwami Of Creation. ...just as soon as I find your Miraculous. You’re beginning to_ **_tick_ ** _me off, so_ **_watch_ ** _yourself because soon you won’t be having the_ **_time_ ** _of your life!”_

\-----

Plagg was having the time of his life. He didn’t even know Tikki had it in her! But _oh man_ was he wrong, given apparently he was forced to re-evaluate his thoughts of her. The apparently sweet-as-sugar-cookies Tikki, apparently, has a salty side.

Because right there, for all of Paris to see was a magnificent red and black spotted jumbotron, playing a montage of Hawk Moth’s greatest failures. Set to Weird Al’s ‘Dare to Be Stupid’ _to boot!_

“...you sure this isn’t a bit much?” Plagg questioned, watching the show from inside a bucket of popcorn.

“No, I think this is just right,” Tikki replied, nibbling on some fresh macaroons. On display on the screen was _everything_ relating to Mr. Pigeon. The poor villain didn’t even need to be stopped… Well, at least not yet as security cameras all over Paris captured his every move and broadcasted it for all to see. “...it’ll be hard to take Hawkmoth seriously ever again!”

“What prompted this anyways?” Plagg asked after another nibble, before watching Tikki burst into giggles as Mr. Pigeon flew around like a bird, arms splayed out to either side. “...this isn’t something I’d ever have expected _you_ to do!”  
  
“Why Plagg, whatever do you mean?” Tikki asked with an almost devilish smile.

“Sugarcube...” Plagg pressed.

“...okay fine, he interrupted my hot bubble bath with this nonsense!” Tikki grumbled. “...I mean I was already mad when he kidnapped Nooroo, but this is the last straw! A girl has to be pampered!”

“Fair enough,” Plagg admitted. It was then Mr. Pigeon came crashing through the jumbotron, on a one horse open sleigh. ...and it wasn’t even Christmas! “...should we be wishing him Joyeux Noël? It’s June innit?”

To make matters weirder than they already were, which was saying something, Mr. Pigeon burped up a swarm of butterflies which reformed into a massive version of Hawk Moth’s head.

“I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!” roared the villain. “GIVE ME YOUR MIRACULOUS, KWAMIS!”

“...ooooh, threatening a god,” Plagg yawned. “...that _always_ works out so well.”  
  
“YOU CAN…” Hawk Moth started to thunder but seemingly regained his composure, wiping his brow. “...you can laugh now, but be warned, soon the joke will be on you. I will be getting your Miraculous, little gods.”  
  
“Oh look Tikki, he acknowledges our titles... So he _does_ have a brain,” Plagg remarked in a dry tone. “...you must feel like a real big man to threaten cutesy little kwamis....which nobody else can see, Iwant to point out. Meaning, to the public at large you’re looking more insane than ever! So bra-vah.”

It was only just now that this occurred to Hawk Moth, and it was only just then that he heard the laughter echoing up from the streets of Paris.

“Now look who’s laughing,” Tikki observed. “...oh well. Your reputation was nice while it lasted.”  
  
“...he had a reputation?” Plagg remarked. “I thought it went down the drain the moment his villains started showing up in those candy colored outfits.”  
  
“YOU DARE YOU INSULT MY FASHION SENSE!?!”

“...he has fashion sense?” Plagg looked to his counterpart for answers, she was always the wiser one after all.

“Allegedly.” Tikki shrugged, not really sure herself to be honest.  
  
“Yeah, that’s fair. Allegedly,” Plagg admitted. “...That’s a good word, you did see The Bubbler right? He looked like a children’s toy!”  
  
“WHY YOU IMPUDENT…”

“But popping those bubbles was so much fun!” Tikki said, remembering going to each one with nets below to catch the adults. “Pop, pop, pop! I can see why human children do it… It’s addicting!”  
  
“...allow me, sugarcube, to introduce you to this fascinating invention called bubble wrap sometime…”

“YOU WILL STOP IGNORING ME!”

Ignore him, they did, too engrossed in each other to care about villains who frankly needed anger management therapy....not that Tikki was going to help this time.

Hilariously enough but perhaps not surprisingly, her earlier prediction came true. It was impossible to take Hawk Moth seriously now.

As proven with the next few attacks....if they could even be called that.

“I am quite sorry Hawk Moth, but worked up as I am over losing my spot,” said Max on the day of the Ultimate Mecha Strike tryouts. “I am simply not worked up enough to fall under the control of an abject failure like you.”  
  
Hawk Moth seethed.

“It is against the law to submit to a terrorist, and join forces with him,” said Officer Raincomprix. “An incompetent terrorist sure, but a terrorist nonetheless. I shall earn my job back, just you watch.”

It just kept getting worse.

“I have brought shame and dishonor to my family with my soup, yes,” said Wang Cheng. “...but I am sure I will bring more shame and dishonor to my family if I work with a failure like you.”

Hawk Moth was starting to wonder if he would ever get another Akumatization ever again.

“I’m sorry, but you’re washed up, Hawk Moth,” said a certain Italian currently suffering from jealousy issues. “...there are classes on how to be a super villain right? Maybe you should start taking them!”

That really did it, with Hawk Moth screaming and stamping on his cane like a toddler who’d been denied his favorite toy.

Eventually, fate seemed to take pity on him and _finally_ grant him an Akumatization. Jagged Stone, world renowned rockstar and apparently someone who had never heard the name Hawk Moth.

“...owwww, I think my eardrums are aching,” Tikki cried as she covered her ears, soaring to the top of the Eiffel Tower through battering soundwaves. “...why do humans subject themselves to this? They should sit further back at concerts, it’s better for them that way!”

“But sugarcube,” Plagg argued. “There are some _awesome solos!_ ”  
  
Tikki groaned audibly as Plagg laughed his ass off. In any event, all went well and Jagged Stone was returned to normal.  
  
“...well, at least he can get back to making his music!” Tikki noted afterwards. “So while we’re no closer to finding Nooroo, I’d still call it a victory!”  
  
“I thought you hated rock and roll!” Plagg remarked, surprised. 

“Only when it’s blared in my face like that, but for the most part I love seeing what music humans come up with! They’re always so creative, and inspiring and wonderfully unpredictable.”  
  
“...oh sure when it’s them being unpredictable it’s cute but when it’s me…” Plagg muttered to himself. 

Tikki just stuck out her tongue at him, before leading him on a merry chase through Paris. Giggling, the two kwamis eventually nestled themselves on a rooftop south of the Arc De Triomphe overlooking the city skyline.

“...it’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Tikki mused. 

“Yeah, beautiful…” Plagg agreed, though he wasn’t looking at the _city_ per se…

“No wonder my chosen wants to protect it so badly,” Tikki mused. “...at times, I almost want to let her but I worry. This is no job for a teenager, she should be worried about homework and boys! Not supervillains!”

“You did a good thing sugarcube,” Plagg said in a soft tone. “They’re our kids now and we need to look out for them....and yeah, they really should be worried about dating, not supervillains. Namely, dating each other.”  
  
“Each other?” Tikki blinked.  
  
“...yeah, have you seen how my kid looks at yours? It’s so sickeningly sweet, sometimes I want to barf! But he can’t get in two words around her, not without turning into a gibbering wreck!”  
  
Tikki giggled. “Oooooh, that sounds like my chosen. I don’t mean to speak unkindly about her, but my kid is just as bad! Oooooooh, maybe we should…”  
  
“Help them along?” Plagg asked. “Why Tikki, that almost sounds like a scheme you’re cooking up in your head! I’m proud, I didn’t know you had it in you!”  
  
“Not a scheme, a challenge,” Tikki corrected him. “And one I am _happy_ to accept!”

**Author's Note:**

> You have only JJ to blame for making me do this. Oh, and Keyseeker too, considering she encouraged me, she was even the one who came up with the idea for the jumbotron gag.
> 
> Honestly, there is sooooooooo much I probably could do to make Hawk Moth's life that little bit worse but I didn't want this fic to drag on for too long. Ideally, if I had the time for a full fic instead of a bite sized one? I'd probably go into more depth about Adrien and Marinette's life, now changed without the burden of being superheroes but with two tiny gods now nudging them together and guiding them. ...hell, if there's enough demand for it I'd happily do a second chapter on that.
> 
> Really, while I love the canon show and understand that teenagers doing the jobs of the adults is part and parcel of the magical girl homage this show has going on, I soooo want to give Marinette and Adrien great big hugs by this point. Also, you a fan of Ladybug, and are you searching for a place to share your love for the series? Join us here at the [Miraculous Fanworks Discord! ](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)


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